Its upsetting and frustrating, as i am reacting this way, to seeing that i am and especially have been so fucked. That i wish i could just quit masturbating, fucking myself in the ass, but that without such experiences and the effect they have on ny body, i would die it seems. And then also seeing that others dont seem to like me. I mean that they will go so far as to actually attack me and attempt to murder me. I feel sad about all this. I dont want to die and end forever. Then again as i wrote that i see that all these reactions make no sense. Because what happens happens and thats simply it.
And the fight and fear for survival adds a lot of stress to all of this. The point of always worrying about money. Life would be a lot easier if money really was something i had no need of being worried about. I mean that it wasnt an issue.And then feeling so diempowered and in that not trusting myself with anything or almost anything. I feel frustrated. I do not like my life. I hate masturbatiin to images addiction. My life, my mind has become very painful to bear. So there is the point of despair. And feeljng and thinking that im so extensively fucked that i cannot get out of this. But also that is the preprogramming of the mind to get me to submit, to give up, instead of persevering unconditionally. Persevering unconditionally makes sense. And thats why all of these reactions make no sense. Because they are pointless.
To persevere unconditionally is the point where despair has no reason to exist. Despair and other emotional reactions such as guilt and regret are forms of giving up.
I commit myself to push myself to persevere unconditionally realizing that emotional reactions such as self-pity, sadness, regret, and guilt are forms of giving up and that when i persevere unconditionally these reactions no longer have a reason to exist.
No comments:
Post a Comment