Im feeling amd thinkjng that the bus driver is keepjng an eye on me because he doesnt like me or judges me or something like that. I think hes looking at me as if i am like a secual predator and so he has to be vigilant because i can abuse someone or something like that. I mean, i did turn to the side to look at a girl next to me, ljke on the side if me on the other side of tje bus several times. And now all the lights of the bus are off exept the light abjve me. Also i have been looking at videos of girls shakjng their asses kn ny phone and i am next to the window so i think it maybe is reflectjng on the window and others can see it.
So what i think is that this is paranoia, that km possessed seeing things and misinterpreting thjngs, and so that it is that i am projectjng externally what i am experiencing within myself as myself as the mind. For example i am the one who feels guilty and ashamed and jusged myself as this disgusting creel and so i think the bus driver and others are seeing me in that way but it is really i who is seejng myself this way. I see that i am making assumptijns as i interpret thjngs. I am asumjng others know j was watching videos of girls asses like a creep even tho i dont have any proof of that. I think the bus driver is keeping an eye jn me and is judgjng me even though i have no proof of that. Thus it seems that yes indeed i am projecting externally my internal reality which is about my relationship with myself, ny self judgments, because j have no proof that what i am perceiving in my mind is real. Thus it is made up jn my mjnd, because there is no connection to reality. Wow.
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