It seems that when I judge myself that I fell or as I'm falling that it makes it more difficult and unlikely for me to be able to support myself (and thus it is more consequential). "Feeling bad and guilty leads nowhere. Forgive yourself and recommit until you've transcended the point".
Thus I realize that it's best, or can probably be best, to stop or try to stop my participation in self judgment and or as reacting with fear and guilt and regret and etc to that j am accepting and allowing myself to deliberately masturbate to images. Instead j can breathe. Is/does the self judgment what makes it more difficult to breathe and be self aware while I masturbate to images? Well it seems that it makes some sense to state or consider that it does make it more difficult or less possible to be self aware because self judgment, at least to my understanding or perhaps assumption, is self separation which means that I will be less aware of myself because I am separating myself from myself, amd even also to say that I become more far from reality because I get possessed. So it can also be referred to as paranoia I think. Which means that I am seeing things that aren't there. Does this mean that it is less possible for me to be able to stop sooner if I allow myself to react with self judgment? Well what was said is that the more energy the mind has the more it can create ideas and resource memories and produce thoughts. And the more possessed I am the more difficult it is for me to see the self honesty of the situation.
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