I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience anger towards the kids in back of me as they laughed and I thought they were laughing at me.
I forgive myself that j have believed the kids are laughing at me. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to oarticipate in paranoia as I believe the kids are laughing at me and talking shit about me. I realize that j am angry because j get defensive because I get offended and I fear others offending me because such experiences affect me mentally/emotionally.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being offended by other people, in this case by these kids.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience guilt as I am doing self forgiveness because I think it's wrong and bad because it is not correct because it is apparently not self honest/good enough. I am showing up and that is fundamentally what matters the most. The rest comes after.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear feeling humiliated if others laugh at me and or talk shit about me because when I feel humiliated as others are attacking me or saying shit about me or laughing at me j experience myself as less than and thus not equal and I want to perceive myself as equal to others not less than them because then I perceive I am worth less than them.
I realize or consider that I am placing my value (and thus my self-value) in the hands of others I instead of me determining me and in that I see that I am not realizing that I am alone because if I had realize my aloneness I would be perceiving that my value is jn someone else's hands. To realize that I am alone, it means to specify myself to self honesty wherein j eventually get to the point of standing equal and one with myself and thus can see and understand clearly how I am the one creating my reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at the kids because jn my paranoia and fear of being laughed at I perceive that they are laughing at me even though I don't really know or see that, I just see them laughing and I assume it is at me and I can see that I assume it is me because j am paranoid within fear of being laughed at which is something that I experience a lot in my teenage years and even early adult years (being laughed at).
I realize that I am paranoid that others will laugh at me like they did especially when I was in middle school, wherein the reactions and memories are replaying themselves jn my present over and over again which is paranoia.
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