7/28/21 only happening in my imagination

7/28/21

A point i started looking at yesterday is that by me allowing myself to participate in playing out imaginary scenarios in my mimd, for instance having a conversation or interaction in my imagination with the girl i like, ....when i do this what is said is that my brain cant tell the difference between real life and imagination, so when i do this my brain registers that i have already experienced this interaction, which i long for, in real life. So its like in my brain or some level of my mind i have already won, meanwhile when it comes to actual reality here in the physical world i dont talk with her or even look at her because i am too scared; and it makes sense to consider that in a way in my brain or at some level of my mind i am like not even interested in a real interactiin with that girl really because i already had it in my mind in my imagination.

I mean, its the same with masturbation. If i masturbate to images my brain registers that i have been effective at having sex in real life and therefore i am a winner and thus i do not, maybe intuitively, have to develop effective socially interactive relationships because i simply do not need to, because what for? What for if i already according to my brain effectively experienced what i had to, what i wanted to.

Thus by stopping accepting and allowing such interactions in my imagination i am forcing those interaction to have to take place in real life, here in the real physical world. And i have some reason or intuitive insight or have some level of confidence in considering that they will indeed happen in real life because it is interactions that i want to see happen probably at deeper layers in my mind so they will be have to be brought about one way or another. In otherwords i will, perhaps intuitively, provide myself with the drive necessary to see to it that these interactions and experiences do really come to pass/happen, that they very much do take place.

That is something which i would really like, because existing only on the mind wherein i experiwnce social relationships and interactions only in my mind within the confines of the imagination is very like meaningless and unfulfilling and minute. I want the real thing because it will be a lot more meaningful and significant and rewarding and fulfilling and extensive, and liberating.

I do see that i have beem lacking like enough drive to bring these interactions and relationships about in real life and this is likely to an extent why. I guess certain neural pathways will have to be fed one way or another. Best to let them feed off of real life than imagination.