6/22/21

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in embarrasement and shame that i accepted and allowed myself to suddenly ask Leslie if she was interested in having sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself that i accepted and allowed myself to ask Leslie if she was interested in having sex.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe i did something bad or wrong by asking her if sdhe was interested in sex when i do not clearly understand why it was really such a bad thing.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see and realize that what i am seeing in relation to what happened and how im judging it as this messed up thing is just really just me seeing a reflection of the self judgment that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience fear of loss and participate in it when is it really even nesessary for me to fear lossing the opportunity that i believe to have of eventually making this girl i experience feelings about my girlfriend?

Even as i write this i experience a resistance to letting go of the fear of loss.

I forgive myself for accepting amd allowing myself to fear being honest with myself about limiting myself through fear of loss.

What i see is that this whole idea of feeling like shit because i believe i did something wrong is comming from fear of loss. I mean, i dont think that wanting to be with that girl and liking her a lot or even feeling love about her has to be wrong or bad but that its okay if its supportive, but why must i exist as fear of loss?

I commit myself to consider what i am accepting and allowing myself to do by accepting and allowing myself to exist in fear of loss as fear that this girl will not be my girlfriend some day